


All the hurt a heart can hold

by NightsMeridian



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Soulmate AU, romantic kalex, stays pretty close to canon, though with a twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 06:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6970222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightsMeridian/pseuds/NightsMeridian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Soulmate AU where humans gain wings once they meet their soulmate.<br/>_____________________</p><p>She can feel the girl’s gaze on her every now and then and wonders what might be within those sky blue eyes when they look down upon her. If it is sadness, guilt or maybe even pity. Maybe the thought that it’s mostly the latter is what keeps making her refuse when her parents offer to take her up with them to go flying.</p><p>Like they used to all the time.</p><p>Before Kara arrived.</p><p>Before the news that she might never be able to fly like them.</p><p>And Alex presses herself further into the wall, hot angry tears clouding her eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the hurt a heart can hold

**Author's Note:**

> I do follow canon a little with this story with the obvious inclusion of soulmates and wings and I suppose the hints of magic (and a OC Doctor that dabbles in the field that would encompass soulmates) Though it diverts away from canon in places. Thanks to my beta for his hard work on this.

 

* * *

 

 

Everything starts the day after Kara is brought to her house.

 

It reminds her a little of the early onsets of flu, but Alex knows this is somehow different. It’s stronger. Gives her headaches that stop her from thinking clearly. And the pain is unlike anything she’s ever felt. Even cutting open both of her knees when she had fallen from the tree in the backyard last year didn’t feel like this.

 

She doesn’t want to bother her parents, they already have their hands full with Kara. Kara who suddenly appeared in her world, in her house, her bedroom. Obliterating what little privacy she had before that.

 

Something inside her is stubborn, even with the knowledge that this could be something dangerous. It had to be connected to Kara’s sudden appearance, but she lies to her mother when she asks if she's feeling well. And she hides in her bedroom, pretending to be asleep until Kara appears later that night.

 

“Are you alright, you’re heart rate’s…”  

 

“I’m fine.” She bites it out between clenched teeth. Harshly. Full of cropped up anger and frustration.

 

“Uhm. Okay I...good night?”

 

It comes out quiet and uncertain but Alex doesn’t bother replying and turns on her other side, to face the wall. Her head is pounding and tears slowly start to pool in her eyes. She wipes them away with an angry gesture, fingers curling around the sheets as she bites back the quiet little whimpers that form in her throat.

 

Sleep doesn’t come and the pain gets worse.

 

She’s sweating and trembling all over and at some point she registers through her blurry vision how Kara leaves the room. At some point everything fades.

 

* * *

  


She wakes up in a hospital bed. The lights in the room are too bright and Alex tries to lift a hand to shield her eyes, only to find that she can’t. Her limbs are unresponsive and for a moment she panics and looks at her hands to ascertain herself they are still there. She can see her fingers move, but it’s like someone poured lead into her hands. They feel too heavy, any movement sluggish as if in slow motion.

 

There are wires everywhere, connected to equipment she doesn’t recognize. Machines are piled around her bed. A heart monitor steadily beeping away and an IV bag hooked up to one of her arms, feeding unknown drugs into her system. And all Alex is able to do is stare and try and figure out what happened to her.

 

* * *

 

The second time she wakes up, it’s to raised voices. A heated argument just outside the door of her room. Alex recognizes her mother pacing, her grey-brown wings jostling with every movement. She holds some kind of clipboard in her hands, notices how she waves it around agitatedly every now and then. She also recognises the doctor, Dr. Kapulski, a friend of her mother’s. An expert on soul-bonds.

 

She catches the words, “alteration, irreversible,” and not much else.

 

But it’s enough for her to piece a few things together. And something dawns on Alex. Something inside her twists.

 

“Never?!” Her mother practically shouts and Alex turns her head into the pillow, pretending to be asleep in case her parents look into the room.

 

“Eliza calm down, we don’t know..”

 

“She might never be able to fly Jeremiah! She might never…”

 

She hears her mother let out a cry then and Alex buries her head further into the pillow. Silent tears slowly soaking the fabric until she falls asleep again.

 

* * *

 

The intricately carved metal bracer around her right arm feels heavy and unnatural, and the soft blue glow that shines up from the stone set in the middle of it is still too bright to ignore. It’s an ever present reminder of her condition, yet another thing that was taken from her.

 

Her resentment towards Kara grows and Alex refuses to speak a word to her when she comes to visit one day. She refuses to acknowledge the tears shining into the meek little girl’s eyes when she turns around after a few silent and uncomfortable minutes and wordlessly leaves the room again.

 

“You shouldn’t blame her,” her mother says in an admonishing tone when she enters some time later.

 

But Alex just feels angry. At the world. At everything and everyone. But mostly at Kara. For causing all of this in the first place.

 

“And why the hell not, mom!?” Alex yells, her jaw clenching painfully from all the anger bottled up inside. “It IS her fault. You said I could’ve died. You explained to me how I might never be able to find a soulmate because of her, because of something she brought with her from her planet. So how the hell is this NOT her fault? I lost everything because of her!” she seethes.

 

Letting out a frustrating cry, Alex jams one of her balled hands into the bed beneath her.

 

“Alex...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

 

Her mother is crying, tears running down her face unchecked and something inside Alex breaks at the sight.

 

She lets out a heart wrenching sob and clutches onto her mother’s arms when she draws closer. The wings close around her back protectively and for a moment Alex feels warm and safe. A cocoon away from the outside world. From the reality of what had happened to her.

 

“We won’t know for sure what might happen when you take it off,” her mother says softly after she moves to sit on the chair next to the bed. “There is still a chance that you’ll be able to find your soulmate.”

 

“But it’s small, isn’t it?”

 

Her mother looking away from her is all the answer she needs and Alex dips her chin to her chest, willing back the tears that well up in her eyes anew.

 

* * *

 

Alex presses back further against the wall of the building behind her. Further into the shadows. As if that would make her disappear. Sometimes she wishes it could.

 

The blue glow from the stone in her bracer greets her when she looks down and Alex scowls when a wave of bitterness washes over her. The feeling of it fluidly moving across her skin, leaving traces of coldness everywhere still disconcerts her even nearly a year later. Because whatever material the bracer is made out of, it is always unnaturally cold to the touch, even after a day in the sun.

 

Soft melodic laughter reaches her ears and Alex looks up at the sky again. At the moonlit silhouettes of her parents, their matching wings gently curving to one side as they soar through the sky. And Kara easily and playfully keeping up pace with them, even without having wings.

 

She can feel the girl’s gaze on her every now and then and wonders what might be within those sky blue eyes when they look down upon her. If it is sadness, guilt or maybe even pity. Maybe the thought that it’s mostly the latter is what keeps making her refuse when her parents offer to take her up with them to go flying.

 

Like they used to all the time.

 

Before Kara arrived.

 

Before the news that she might never be able to fly like them.

 

And Alex presses herself further into the wall, hot angry tears clouding her eyes.

 

* * *

 

By now she knows that Kara disappears during the nights every now and then. Though she isn’t sure where Kara might be going and Alex doesn’t particularly care either. She doesn’t really know what’s different this night.

 

Maybe it’s because Kara has been uncharacteristically quiet all day. Even a trip to the zoo hasn’t brought out more than the hints of a smile, whereas usually she excitedly babbles mile a minute about the various animals and the information she has read about them.

 

She moves through the open window that leads to the flat roof of the house and immediately picks up the sounds of muffled sobbing. Though it takes her a while to find the source of the sounds, a figure huddled in the far corner, half obscured by the darkness, arms around her legs and her head lowered against her knees.

 

“Kara?” she whispers softly and hesitantly, unsure if she is intruding on something she shouldn’t be.

 

Almost immediately the girl stiffens and wipes at her eyes with the sleeve of her pyjama top. The fact she hasn’t picked up on Alex’s arrival sooner is a sign that Kara is oblivious to the world for some reason.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“I’m…I’m..” Kara’s voice is shaking and the wobbliness of her lips cleaves through Alex’s heart.

 

She’s never seen Kara so distraught, eyes red rimmed and filled with grief. It’s an eye-opener in some way and Alex can’t help but feel drawn towards her. Can’t help but want to comfort her, if only because she realizes Kara has intentionally gone outside their shared room as to not disturb her sleep.

 

“It’s..been two Earth years,” Kara whispers softly, after some time passes and Alex finally sits down next to her.

 

“Oh..” _Oh,_ Alex thinks and wonders if her parents even knew about the significance of this day. How to Kara, even with having spent 24 years in the Phantom Zone, it still feels to her as if she has lost her home, her planet, everything, just two years ago.

 

And suddenly the weight around her arm doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.

 

She doesn’t even hesitate to move and wrap her arms around Kara, enveloping her into an embrace. And if a few tears escape her own eyes when Kara cries her heart out, she blames it on the chilly winds instead of how Kara’s pain tugs at her heart.

 

Alex is surprised when instead of moving back to a comfortable distance, Kara only leans closer ever so slightly when she has finished crying. Liquid blue eyes hold hers captive and the weak smile Kara flashes her when she slowly wipes away a few tears from Alex’s cheeks makes her breath catch in her throat.

 

“I wish things had been different,” Kara says as she leans back against the wall of the house, eyes fixed on the stars above.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You and I? I never meant to be such a burden to you or your parents,” Kara confesses, fingers plucking nervously at the fabric of her pyjama bottoms. “I never wanted to intrude on your life. I didn’t know I was carrying something with me that would affect you. I would never hav..”

 

“Kara…” she surprises even herself by reaching out and clasping Kara’s chin, exerting pressure there until Kara finally flicks her eyes down and faces her. “It’s not your fault,” Alex continues when she’s sure she has Kara’s full attention.

 

“But I…”

 

“You couldn’t have known.” Alex pauses for a moment, swallowing around the sudden lump in her throat. Because she realizes all too well, how she has blamed Kara for all of it, how her anger has demanded something--someone--for her to channel it towards. Even now against the better knowledge, there are still the hints of it in her thoughts, questioning all the what if’s.

 

It’s hard for her to let go of the thought of never meeting someone who could be her other half. Hard to accept the reality that she might never fly.

 

“I still wish there was something I could do to help,” Kara says after a minute has passed in silence.

 

“I…” Alex flounders, catches the hopeful glimmer in Kara’s sky blue eyes and she feels something warm swell within her. “Maybe you could take me flying someday,” she suggests, not quite able to keep the hints of uncertainty out of her voice.

 

Kara’s response is immediate. Her whole face lights up and her lips curve into a beatific smile. “I could do that,” she says, eyes shimmering with joy. “I would love to do that.”

 

“Alright, I’ll talk to mom and dad about it tomorrow.”

 

Kara smiles in response, her eyes crinkling a little as she holds Alex’s gaze for a second. But then her smile slowly vanishes again and she looks back up at the star filled filament above their heads.

 

“You want to talk about it? I mean you don’t have to but…” Alex fidgets with awkwardness as she lets the sentence linger, unsure if she was crossing any boundaries and not wanting to undo all the progress they have made this night.

 

“About my..home, Krypton?”

 

Kara’s voice is laced with sadness and Alex shuffles a little closer until they are pressed together.

 

“Yeah, if you want?”

 

A nod is her response, followed by a watery smile. And Kara talks. Talks until she sky turns into a canvas of yellow and orange.

 

* * *

 

She wakes up that morning to the sound of birds singing and the feel of the slowly setting sun warming up her face. Kara’s head is in her lap, still sound asleep. She looks peaceful and serene and some of it resonates within Alex, finally soothing the parts of her that have been inconsolable for years.

 

* * *

 

They go flying a few days later and it’s one of the moments that makes Alex feel truly alive. She clings to Kara’s back, arms firmly wrapped around her chest as they tumble and soar through the skies. It makes her feel free. And if she closes her eyes and imagines it hard enough, she thinks this might be what it would be like.

 

Maybe one day. It’s the tiny bit of hope she still clings to.

 

* * *

 

They get the news almost a week later and they never fly again afterwards.

 

* * *

 

“You should be able to take it off now.”

 

“I know mom,” Alex says with a heavy sigh.

 

It’s not as if the thought hasn’t consumed her since her 20th birthday had come and gone. Even though a lot of people are able to find their soulmate once they turn 18, sometimes it doesn’t happen to people until a few years later. Alex has heeded Dr. Kapulski’s advice and waited.

 

The small grey cape draped between her mother’s wings rustles through the air as she moves away from the window and turns towards Alex again.

 

“I understand your hesitation, but there’s no way for you to know until you take it off.”

 

“Maybe I don’t want to know,” Alex states softly, slightly under her breath. “Can’t be disappointed that way either.”

 

“Alex…”

 

“I’m just not ready right now, mom,” she mutters dejectedly. “I need to decide on this on my own, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Her mother doesn’t look convinced but to Alex’s relief she doesn’t press the issue any further. A part of her wonders what her father might’ve said to her about it. It causes a pang of regret to settle into the pit of her stomach. There is a lot they didn’t get to do together. A lot they would never be able to do and Alex forever wishes they could’ve flown together one last time before his death.

 

* * *

 

“Kara?”

 

Kara blinks and there’s a clear blush staining her cheeks when she finally looks up. “Sorry, I was distracted, what were you asking?”

 

Alex snorts and shakes her head. “You’ve been absent-girl ever since you came over. Something is definitely up with you, want to talk about it?”

 

“No? I mean...I, just college’s been really busy and I..uhm,” Kara babbles on, tugging at her glasses in a way that Alex had come to associate with Kara being nervous about something.

 

The mug of coffee in her hands is placed down on Alex’s coffee-table and Kara abruptly stands up from the couch, turning away from where Alex is sitting.

 

“Come on Kara, out with it. Is someone bothering you at college or something?”

 

“No, it’s not that, it’s...nothing.” Kara shakes her head and starts pacing, an unreadable look on her face. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

 

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

 

“W-w-what? No..I…”

 

“You used to stop by every week or so, but it’s just been one excuse after the other lately, what gives?” Alex couldn’t help but let the hurt she was feeling shine through in her voice. She doesn’t really understand what she has done to Kara, and why after their previous closeness, Kara is suddenly seeking to distance herself again.

 

“I just..” Kara suddenly turns around, blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I’m dealing with a few things right now.” She swallows audibly and Alex sees how Kara’s eyes wander and settle on the bracer around her right arm. “I just need some time. Alone,” she adds after a beat.

 

“You’re still blaming yourself for this?” Alex queries, a frown knitting her brows together. “Because I’ve told you time and time again that you shouldn’t. It’s not your fault Kara…”

 

“It’s not that, it’s…” Kara’s lips purse together and Alex wonders what she wants to say next. “I should go.”

 

“You just got here,” Alex protests when Kara practically runs towards the coatrack. “Kara?”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry Alex.”

 

She tries to grasp Kara’s arm only to have it tugged loose again with more force than Kara usually uses and it’s enough to make Alex step back and stare after Kara as she rushes through the hallway.

 

Until she vanishes around a corner and Alex wraps her arms around herself, eyes finding the softly glowing bracer on her right arm and feeling utterly confused  about what just happened.

 

* * *

 

She doesn’t really see Kara for more than minutes over the next few years and Alex’s heart breaks just that little bit more every time Kara leaves again without speaking more than two words to her.

 

* * *

 

Somewhere along the line she starts to drink. To forget her sorrow. Forget her father’s death that she never really got over. To forget the fact that she can never live up to her mother’s high expectations of her. To try and get over how she aches to have Kara back in her life again.

 

She almost takes the bracer off a few times. And just as often she drinks herself into a stupor instead.

 

Until she wakes up in a jail-cell and her life changes forever.

 

* * *

 

She’s surprised when Kara contacts her out of the blue again. Mentions how she will move to the same city because she’s acquired a job as an assistant at CatCo. Alex only half follows everything Kara tells her across the phone. It’s more words strung together in minutes than Kara has uttered to her in the past few years together.

 

So if her replies are a little stilted and choked up because her throat is constricting with emotion, she excuses it away with saying she’s still recovering from a bad cold.

 

* * *

 

“We could do some binge-watching this weekend if you want?” Kara offers up, still a little awkward as she stands in the middle of Alex’s living-room. “I mean it’s been a long time since we did that. We could order take-out? I’ll even pay for it?”  


Alex grins, eyes sparkling with mirth. “We have a deal. Considering you’ll eat 90% of that take-out anyway, I guess it would only be fair if you paid for it.”

 

Kara gapes at her. “I do not eat 90% of the take-out.”

 

“89%?” Alex offers up, cocking her head with a chuckle at Kara’s narrow-eyed stare.

 

Kara huffs eventually and stomps towards the couch, dropping herself on it in an overly dramatic fashion that makes Alex roll her eyes at Kara’s antics.

 

“I do get to decide what we’ll watch though.”

 

“Alright fine, I suppose we can compromise,” Alex says as she moves to the freezer and removes two tubs of ice-cream.

 

She pauses just after she closes the door of the freezer again. Her eyes settle on Kara’s form as she flicks through some television channels. Though she’s happy things are returning to some semblance of normality between them, she also knows there’s something they have yet to talk about. Things that sit between them in the moments where the silence lingers and she catches Kara looking at her a little too long. A little too hard.

 

Alex knows there are secrets between them now. Secrets she herself is keeping. And it’s enough for her to keep her mouth shut and pretend that everything is fine between them.

 

* * *

 

Kara saves her life by saving a plane and all Alex can do is sit in her apartment that same night and stare at the glowing bracer on her arm.

 

* * *

 

It’s not until Kara’s first real battle. A battle that gets her seriously injured and Alex wishes she could fly in instead of relying on a helicopter to get there in time, that she realizes she has a decision to make.

 

* * *

 

“You’re still wearing it.”

 

“I am,” Alex simply acknowledges with a quick raise of her eyebrows. “I just wanted some more information. My mother couldn’t explain all of it to me.”

 

“I’m afraid not much of it might make sense to you,” Kapulski replies, seemingly unfazed by Alex storming into her office after a single knock on her door.

 

“I got a degree in bioengineering, so you could try me,” Alex challenges, hands on her hips, trying to appear more confident than she is actually feeling.

 

“Soul-bonding doesn’t actually fall under the scientific umbrella however.”

 

“But whatever happened to me might, right?”

 

The doctor merely looks at her, head cocked as if she is appraising Alex for some reason. Then she wordlessly motions towards the couch opposite of where Kapulski is sitting and Alex breathes a tiny sigh of relief.

 

“It might,” Kapulski replies as soon as Alex sits down and she leans in subconsciously, not wanting to miss anything of what the doctor might be saying next. “It seems to be a fairly unique case. I’ve never come across something like it, I’ll admit. I doubt I ever will in the future.”

 

“Because of Kara,” Alex supplies, the doctor being one of the few people who knew of Kara’s true origin.

 

“You have to understand there was the very real possibility the process of gaining your wings would’ve killed you at that age.”

 

“I do understand that, I just don’t see what that has to do with…”

 

“It has more to do with Kara than I might’ve thought initially,” Kapulski interrupts with clear reluctance and it’s enough for Alex to perk up on the couch, confused at the turn the conversation was taking.

 

Steepling her fingers in her lap, Kapulski looks to the side, gaze settling on something on her desk and Alex recognises avoidance when she sees it. Though she decides to wait it out, not wanting to offend the doctor when she is so close to finding out more information on her situation.

 

“I thought it was because of Kara’s nature. Her chemical makeup is different than a human’s as well as you know. I jumped to the conclusion that your condition was caused by something Kara carried with her, instead of her just being her alien self instead.”

 

“I’m not sure I understand,” Alex replies.

 

“I’m not sure I understand either,” Kapulski echoes her statement, which only serves to increase Alex’s confusion. “Putting that bracer on you still saved your life, but..”

 

“But..?” Alex’s heart is pounding in her chest as she stares right into the doctor’s grey eyes.

 

“You might be surprised when you take off that bracer. I initially assumed there was a strong probability that because of what happened you missed your opportunity forever. But after having studied your case over and over I might’ve been too hasty with my conclusion.” She smiles faintly and Alex sucks in a sharp breath.

 

“So does that mean I…” Alex trails off, unable to finish that particular sentence.

 

“I suppose the only way of knowing is if you take it off.”

 

* * *

 

“Alex?”

 

The door is barely open on a sliver when Alex tugs Kara forward--well more like Kara allows herself to be tugged forwards into a bear-hug.

 

“O-okayyyy?” Kara chuckles, arms wrapped tightly around Alex’s back, “not that I’m not happy to see you either, but what was that for?”

 

“Just some good news I got yesterday. I wanted to share it with you, all things considered.” She tucks a few errant strands of hair behind her ears and takes a deep breath.

 

“All things considered?” Kara gives her a curious look, fingers fumbling with the frame of her glasses.

 

“I uhm..well you know I’ve still been wearing the bracer and all,” Alex starts. Though she’s surprised at the flickering in Kara’s eyes and the subsequent averting of her gaze towards one of the windows.

 

“Right.”

 

Kara’s answer comes out strained and Alex moves over to Kara until she’s standing in front of her.

 

“Kara?” She asks softly, splaying her fingers across one of Kara’s cheeks until gentle blue eyes finally meet her own. “I did mention it was good news,” she adds with a--what she hopes to be--reassuring flash of a smile.

 

Kara returns it hesitatingly and Alex takes a step back and holds up her right arm. “I spoke to Dr. Kapulski and she said there might be some other factors involved with what happened to me.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“I’m not sure actually.” Alex grins at the apparent confusion etched across Kara’s features. “Neither is Dr. Kapulski actually. But she seems to think I might still find a soulmate. I might still gain my wings, Kara,” she exclaims with a smile that feels big enough to split her face in two.

 

Instead of Kara being happy for her she sees something dark and stormy pass across her features.

 

“Kara?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispers on a barely audible tone. “I should be happy for you.” She breathes in sharply. “I _am_ happy for you,” she adds but Alex can detect the sadness radiating off Kara in waves.

 

“But you’re upset,” Alex states on a confused tone. “Why? I thought..”

 

“I’m not…” Kara swallows and turns towards the door and Alex feels a sense of deja-vu washing over her.

 

“Oh no,” she mutters with steel in her eyes as she blocks the door, “you’re not leaving until you tell me what bothers you.”

 

“It’s not important,” Kara stares her down but Alex refuses to budge. “Either you move aside or I’ll fly out through your window.”

 

“We’ve done this dance a few years ago, Kara,” Alex replies, one of her hands reaching for Kara’s tense shoulders. “I think I finally deserve a few answers.”

 

“Alex…”

 

“Please Kara,” she pleads, all of the previous anger draining out of her when she sees the struggle playing out in Kara’s sky blue eyes.

 

“I..I wanted it to be me, Alex,” Kara finally says as tears spill across her cheeks and she wraps her arms around herself. “I wanted you to choose me.”

 

“W-what?” Alex’s stomach flips at Kara’s confession and for once she’s rendered utterly speechless.

 

“It’s selfish, I know,” Kara continues with a trembling voice. “You have a chance to find someone that completes you in every way. I should be happy for you, but all I feel is..”

 

“Kara, what..?”

 

“I love you,” Kara blurts out, a sad smile forming around her lips. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. And I know I should’ve said something. I should’ve said something a long time ago. But how could I, Alex? I had already taken away so much from you, even if it was not on purpose. But how could I want this when knowing that I took away your ability to find your soulmate.”

 

“Kara..”

 

She doesn’t know what to say. But at the same time she realizes this is a conversation they should’ve had a long time ago. Because maybe then she could’ve thought about this more. Could’ve seen what was playing between them sooner.

 

“I’m sorry, Alex.”

 

And this time, before she’s able to do anything, Kara has already moved through the window and flown away.

 

* * *

 

Blood rushes through her veins as she pries at the double clasp that keeps the bracer attached to her arm. And for a moment, she hesitates, fearing what might happen if she goes through with this. Breathing deeply, Alex squeezes her eyes shut and yanks at the clasps, hears the dull thud of the bracer hitting the hardwood floor.  


And is disappointed when nothing happens.

 

She slowly opens her eyes and sees the bracer lying there, still glowing softly from the enchantment that had been placed on the stone set within it. Her skin is paler where the bracer had covered it for over a decade and it feels strange to no longer have the light coolness of the material caress her arm.

 

It still feels good to be free of it finally and she can’t help but smile, though it vanishes almost as quickly when she realizes that the one person she wants to celebrate it with had rushed out of her apartment barely an hour ago.

 

Before she had the chance to say anything.

 

And she has so much to say.

 

* * *

 

 

“Kara I know you’re in there, open the door!” Alex yells, trying to raise her voice above the pounding in her head.

 

It’s familiar, in a way that she dreads.

 

In a way that she associates with a week-long hospital stay and crying herself to sleep every night.

 

It’s familiar in a way that she knows what causes it now. Who causes it. And that’s what makes the hope win out against the fear.

 

“Alex I really just want to be alone right now, just give me a little time and..”

 

“Please open the door Kara,” she mumbles as she stops pounding the door and clutches at her temples. The pain is blinding, searing through her veins and setting her back on fire.

 

She thinks she even blacks out for a second, certainly there are spots in her vision and when the door opens and she stumbles forward, it’s Kara that catches her.

 

“Alex? What’s wrong? Alex?!” Kara sounds frantic but she can't think straight, let alone string two words together to explain to Kara what is happening to her.

 

“Kar..” she whimpers out.

 

She vaguely registers Kara gently placing her onto the couch before moving across the room and grabbing some kind of object.

 

The pain gradually grows worse, radiating from her back and spreading through her veins like wildfire. The way she lays on the couch is uncomfortable and she struggles to stand up, only to fall down on the floor.

 

A cry of pain escapes her and she hears the fabric of her jacket rip, can feel the skin of her back expand, stretching until it’s torn to shreds. A scream wells up from throat and though she can see Kara’s tear-streaked face in front of her, nothing else exists for her except a world of pain for a moment.

 

It’s over as soon as it began and she can see the look of quiet wonder in Kara’s eyes.

 

“Alex…” she whispers, “you..you’re..”

 

The pain ebbs away until it’s gone entirely and she can finally feel it. A glance across her shoulders confirms it. The last of the feathers forming, seemingly appearing out of thin air. She’s only ever heard about this, only ever seen the documentaries. Knows it should take several days, not minutes and Alex guesses it has likely something to do with the halted process when she was still a teenager.

 

“They’re beautiful, Alex,” Kara whispers, her eyes glowing along with the fading light of the sun that shone through the windows.

 

She grasps the outstretched hand Kara offers her and slowly stands up on unsteady legs. The weight of her wings feels strange for a moment and she slowly stretches them out, admiring the golden feathers at the top and how they slowly fade into a silvery grey. She knocks over a lamp standing on a counter and sweeps most of the contents on Kara’s coffee-table to the floor, but she keeps folding and spreading them, marvelling at how much they feel like a part of her already.

 

“Kara,” she speaks up, reaches forward until she can splay both of her hands across Kara’s face and wipe away a few of the stray tears that lingered. “It’s you. It’s always been you,” she mumbles against Kara’s lips before gently caressing them with her own.

 

Kara’s eyes are a shimmering blue when they meet her own, before she closes them and leans in for another kiss. It makes Alex sigh in contentment, and when they break apart again she leans her forehead against Kara’s.

 

Wraps her wings around Kara’s body until nothing else exists but a world of gold and silvery grey.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I actually hadn't given enough thought about soulmates on Krypton. And the story would become needlessly complex if I also delved into that, so I decided to leave it out for now.


End file.
